In a perfect world none of us would have enemies. I doubt very many of us set out to have enemies or wish for more of them but sometimes in life, events happen and we find ourselves in places where unforgiveness is more appealing than forgiveness, walls seem safer than vulnerability and bitterness feels safer than tender-heartedness. We instinctively know this is not the place we want to be living, but because of pain, forgiveness feels as attainable as jumping from one side of the ocean to the other. For those of us who are trying to forgive, the memories sometimes bring pain, more things happen that compound the difficulty we have in forgiving and we feel stuck carrying something that sticks to us like glue.
Not too long ago I found myself in this impossible place and was studying Psalm 23. There it was in verse 5. "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies...." Suddenly a thought hit me. "What if I am the enemy God is preparing the table in the presence of?" I am an enemy when I do not want what is good for the other. I am an enemy when I feel a little happy at another's disappointment. I am an enemy when I internally want revenge instead of restoration. I am an enemy when I prefer to hold in contempt the one I am commanded to love. I am an enemy when I use a boundary as a weapon instead of wisely. I am an enemy when I proudly judge another. I can act like an enemy at times. I blurted out, "God I don't want you to prepare a table for my enemy in my presence!" I heard God gently whisper, "Then don't be an enemy." Yes, but how?
God never says something like that without teaching us how and doesn't really delight in giving impossible instructions without the full intention of helping us learn how to fulfill them. Thankfully, God is quite capable of teaching us and leading us if we let Him. "Don't be an enemy" has been replaying in my mind for quite some time now.
If you've read my blogs for any length of time, you know God often speaks to me in pictures. Pictures have a way of sticking with me and allow me to more easily put into action the truths God is teaching me. God gave me a picture of forgiveness that has stuck with me and continues to reorient my mind and heart. I am learning how not to be an enemy.
In the picture I was a little girl and stood looking at a large and empty table. Jesus, with great delight in his eyes, turned to me and said, "Would you like to help me set it?" With the eagerness of a child getting to help her mother in the kitchen I felt empowered and excited to help do a task I could never do on my own and be part of something great. He continued with a smile, "Will you help me set the table for your enemies?" Suddenly I turned and there was my table already set that I could use as reference. Beautifully plated, I saw abundant mercy, grace, goodness, love, hope, forgiveness, kindness, understanding, good intentions, gentleness, belonging and safety. There was much more than I deserved and all carefully and joyfully prepared for me. All of it set out in anticipation of the joy I would experience when I saw what was mine.
I looked from my table to the empty one in front of me. "But I don't know how to make these things. You want me to help set a table like mine for my enemy?" Suddenly I knew He would teach me. All of the goodness would not come from my own hands, but from His and He was going to allow me to clumsily help by being present and willing. The preparation would go on without me, but He was inviting me to move from the enemy place to the preparing place. I began to wonder, "Had someone unseen helped prepare my own table?"
Of course, my joining God in preparing has no bearing on the goodness or the skill with which the table is set, but my position changes and instead of being dismayed at the goodness my enemy receives, I help cultivate goodness towards them. Preparing a table in prayer causes me to will them good instead of harm. The pain that comes from living like an enemy begins to dissipate. The relationship may never be restored but my position changes. I am no longer an enemy even if I am perceived as one.
Prayer for our enemies is commanded. It is not a pointless command but one that moves us from being an enemy to being truly loving even to the most unlovable and hurtful people in our lives. When we pray for our enemies, we are setting their table with goodness and restoration. We are partnering with Jesus to bring about His good intentions in the lives of those around us. On our own we stand as an enemy and have no ability to set a table for anyone much less those we secretly would love to deprive of goodness. Jesus isn't asking us to set their table with beauty we make on our own, but to partner with Him in the beauty He is creating and longing for in the lives of all people. We can choose to be an enemy God prepares a table in front of or we can decide to stand with God and through prayer, prepare a table for our enemies. It takes childlikeness to learn to set the table for others through prayer - especially those we have been hurt by. In setting the table, our own healing comes and is extended to the other.
Matthew 5:44-48
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your Heavenly Father is perfect.
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