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The God Who Sees Me

"You are the God of Seeing.

No creature is hidden from Your sight; 

all are naked and exposed before You.

Every life precious in Your eyes-

a painting in progress;

a song to be sung."

Psalm 33

-A Sheltering Mercy: Prayers Inspired by the Psalms by Ryan Whitaker Smith and Dan Wilt

Naked. Exposed. I hide. Certainly, the God who sees is disappointed in me; appalled at what He surely knows. The hidden motives, my darkest thoughts, the ways I maneuver life to keep myself safe and the distance I feel even from myself leave me frantically trying to make myself and remake myself into something He would be pleased to see. If I can silence the inner accusations, clothe myself in good activities and try to atone, perhaps those places in me: the ugly, the broken, the bent, the destroyed can be covered sufficiently. My disheveled heart covered in righteousness of my own making beats quickly. Fast and furious activity keeping the accusations at bay but in the silence I know underneath it all is who I really am - so far from who I wish to be. The God who sees. He scares me. Through my activity and all the noise, over the sound of the accusations, the fears and the void I hear Him call my name.

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And then He comes. Gently and with eyes wide open He embraces all of who I am: the ugly, the broken, the bent and destroyed. The tattered robes of my own righteousness stained with the sweat and tears of toiling to please; the clothes of a slave, not a daughter. He offers me a righteousness of His making. He lifts my face to His and holds me close. He sings a song of deliverance and freedom over me; one of heartfelt joy that I am safely with Him. "You are mine now and forever. A delight to my heart and the prize of My Cross." He whispers the darkness is not dark to Him, He can see every place in me and knows what to do with any darkness He finds. His voice is filled with love and competency; not harshness and disappointment. He promises to heal me and keep healing me. He will shatter what destroys me and mend to remake me. This God who sees; He sees to heal. I trust Him now. Through the silence and the rest I hear Him continue to call my name. 

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Isaiah 61:10 NIV I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with jewels.

Psalm 3:3 NIV But You, Lord, are shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high.

Psalm 32:7 NIV You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.

Psalm 18:19 NIV He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Hebrews 12:2 NIV Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Ephesians 3:20 NIV Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us...

Psalm 139:12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

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